TWO THINGS YOU MUST TAKE INTO MARRIAGE – PASTOR MILDRED OKONKWO
You know when you are in a relationship everything is rosy in fact when you’re even doing your vows I always laugh, weddings are the most amusing things to me. A guy is standing at the altar and the girl is coming and then the guy starts crying, I say my brother save your tears (laughs) this cry wey you dey cry na for wetin be? He will now be crying and they will be giving their vows like ‘I love you to the moon and the stars, you are the love of my life, I promise you heaven and earth’… Heaven and earth wey no be your own na him you dey promise??? And the girl will say, I will submit to everything you say, you will be my master, my Lord, and my king ….. Then tomorrow everything changes, Your emotions will not always be there.
Marriage is NEVER going to be about how you feel, never! Is not about your emotions, not about you, especially if it’s kingdom marriage. Kingdom Marriage is all about Jesus Christ, it’s never about you or your spouse, never! It will consistently be about Jesus. I was telling my husband today, one of the things I feel that makes a marriage work two things and I say these all the time, when you’re getting married there are two things you must take into marriage whether you are male or female is that you must enter marriage with Jesus and you’ll hold Jesus with one hand especially your predominant hand either right or left hand but you must hold Jesus, the second one is you must go into marriage with your Joy, you know why?? Because your partner was not created to make you happy that’s not their job in marriage, that’s why a lot of people are offended because they think that oh! he made me feel good before I got married so he should continue making me feel good after marriage. That’s not his assignment in life.
Nobody was created to make you happy, you enter marriage with your Joy and your Jesus. You have to be focused on why you’re in this marriage. My marriage is worship to God, I love my husband but he’s not my primary motivation, Jesus is my motivation for everything I do that’s why even if he annoys me I am here, we die here literally till death do us part. I have sacrificed to Jesus I understand that my assignment in this marriage is to help this man be everything that God has called him to be and that’s his assignment to me too, to be everything that God has called me to be. Are we doing it for each other? No, we are doing it for Jesus, that’s what keeps you there you can’t leave, you know why you can’t leave? Because two of you may be upset but the third person that two of you called was on his jeje when two of you called him to come and be witness to our marriage and be the third person in our marriage and you now say you’re done just like that, you can’t be done if he’s not done. I’m angry, I’m not doing it again, what of him? So three of us must be in agreement.
Sometimes when people tell me that they want to walk away in their marriage, I do ask, have you asked the Lord? they can’t answer me Yes because if you ask him except focus there is a threat to life, the covenant of life is greater than the covenant of marriage, you cannot walk away! What? He’s annoying me, who is not annoying? Are you not annoying? Everybody is annoying! I don’t like the way his family treats me, mistake, I don’t like the way his sisters treats me…because once you get married you are now one flesh meaning his mother is your mother, he’s sisters are now your sisters so if they are not treating you well, it is your mother that is not treating you well not his mother. That’s where we have problems in marriage because we don’t understand marriage is a covenant, you don’t get to do covenant by feelings, you do covenant by commitment. So don’t ever make the mistake of thinking hmm…I don’t feel, feel what?? That’s the craziest thing I hear in counseling, what have feelings got to do in marriage? Feelings have absolutely nothing to do with marriage.
Marriage is commitment. You will not always feel like, there has to be a bigger thing ahead of us and what is the bigger thing? It’s what God wants from us, we have got what we want, children, sex, money, wealth, prosperity, fafavoretc but what does God want? And until God gets what he wants you don’t get to Go! Hope you were blessed??